DUKE NUKEM: takes FOREVER
I finally beat Duke Nukem: Forever. It was fun, funny, action packed and had the LONGEST LOAD SCREEN EVER! Which played the same music over and over with some dumb lines to read that give helpful information like “Press ‘A’ to jump”, “Kill Pig monsters with bullets” and “You are playing Duke Nukem: Forever!”.
Next time they should make them informative such as: “To make Gewy Fudgy Brownies even FUDGIER add less milk to the mix!”
The final boss is the same one you beat in the meta Duke Nukem game in the beginning so after you beat him I hoped the ending to be another meta reference like the camera pans out and Crash Bandicoot is playing the game! But sadly no. Duke is airlifted out of the exploding damn then we cut to a screen where it has claimed Duke has died in battle. Then a black screen we hear Dukes voice saying “What kind of shit ending is that, I aint dead, I’m comin’ back for more” OH I SMELL DLC! Then a press conference and he is asked what he’s going to do next which he replies “I’m gonna run for president”. Now during the Bush administration this was comedy gold but during Obama’s administration it’s just plain rude.
This is what some people occupied themselves with during the long load screens during the game. I have to give the game credit because the music is pretty good the first twenty times then you just wish you were in this pit and got trampled to death.
(PS-This image actually came up when you Google Duke Nukem Forever!)
